The porn industry, stripping, BDSM, sex education, play parties, dick picks and more



Guest: Rachel Starr

Rachel Starr is a 10 year veteran of the adult industry who ranked consistently top 10 porn stars on PornHub.

More info: Scroll to the bottom for more info on Where to Listen, The Bledsoe Show, and where to Connect with Rachel Starr.


3:23

Not the American norm

Rachel had a lot of unusual life experiences. People in the adult entertainment industry get presented with a lot of opportunities that are not the American norm. Both Rachel and Mike go to Burning Man. Mike is also an outlier in society; he does things outside the norm all the time (which is the main reason why I love his podcast).

“I do a lot of things the average person kinda turns their head at and says: ahh, that’s different. “ — Mike Bledsoe


4:05

Squatting

Before recording the episode, Mike and Rachel got to know each other while hanging out over a couple of days– they also worked out together. Rachel’s biggest takeaway was a tip Mike gave her to improve her squat. Rachel had squat problems, because she is glute-dominant rather than quad-dominant. Being glute-dominant worked out well for her profession 😉, but created problems like lower back pain and knees caving in. The one trick that helped Rachel improve her squat immensely was to focus on making sure her knees track over her pinky toes.

Learn how to squat from Doug Larson of Barbell Shrugged

6:13

How Rachel got into porn

Curiosity and hard work ethic

Rachel was a smart kid with good grades, but was also fascinated with the world of taboos and outcasts. She wanted to know more about the world that many others judged, but didn’t take a part in.

Rachel was getting into trouble while at school. She was curious about boys, psychedelic mushrooms, and all kinds of taboo things. She told her parents she wanted to go to a self-paced school so she could start working ASAP and make money. She graduated high school when she was 16.

Rachel was determined to save more and more money; her hard work ethic originated from her dad. She was raised by the principles that you need to work for everything, and to always be ready for anything. After high school, she took on three jobs, just so she could make as much money as possible. Rachel lives her entire life according to this mantra:

“Push harder; you can do better than that.” — Rachel Starr

Rachel’s dad “suggested” to work in a strip club

Rachel called her dad one evening, asking for his advice on how to make time for college while working three jobs. Her dad always replied: “If you want it bad enough, you will figure it out.” But later on said (as a joke): “You can always work in an adult cabaret. You like music; you’re always dancing around.” Rachel wasn’t even 18 at the time, and didn’t even know what a cabaret or strip club meant.

First lesbian relationship

Rachel was always bicurious. The first girl she fell in love with was someone her high school sweetheart was cheating on her with. Eventually, Rachel moved in with her, and suggested they take on Rachel’s dad’s advice of working at a strip club to make money. They decided to work as waitresses in the strip club however, not dancers. 

Working at a strip club

Rachel made only $1 over her first two hours waiting tables. She was looking around and saw strippers making at least $20 from tips, dancing to one song! She scanned the room and looked for the girl with the most money in her g-string. Once she found her, she tipped her, asked the girl to teach her a few dance moves and lend her something to wear in-exchange for 50% of her earnings that night. Less than an hour later, Rachel was on stage with this girl’s shoes and outfit. That night, Rachel made over $700! What she would make over one week working three jobs (keep in mind, this was 15 years ago).

Rachel’s dad’s most valuable advice

When Rachel told her dad she was on the road to becoming a stripper, he asked her to make one promise, which turned out to be incredibly important to her throughout 5.5 years of stripping: “don’t ever drink while you’re working.” 

The transition from stripping to porn

Rachel got scouted and pitched at the strip club she was working at. A random guy told Rachel at her club he’s a porn star and director for a company, and he could make Rachel rich AF. Rachel didn’t believe the guy, but eventually was convinced to meet him for breakfast.

The next morning they met at IHOP, where the guy presented Rachel with DVDs to show her he’s the real deal. Rachel and the guy got to know one another very intimately. The guy took several videos of Rachel and sent them to an agent, who said she’s perfect. A few weeks later, Rachel was in LA shooting her first porn with that same guy, Jack Venice. Her first porn is from 2007 — My Sister’s Hot Friend, by Naughty America.

“Porn average sized guy is 7–8 inches, compared to 5–6 inches regular guy average.” — Rachel Starr


33:00

First porn shooting experience

Rachel’s experience was glamorous and professional. There were around 20 people on set: a production assistant, makeup artist, director, and photographer. They had professional lighting, video cameras, serious paperwork, and made her sign STD tests. It was legit and surreal. It was also taking place in one of Michael Jackson’s old houses in Woodland Hills.

That day, Brett Brando (big porn director) told Rachel: “I can’t believe it’s your first scene… If you take this business all the way, you’ll be a star! Just don’t get wrapped up in drugs.” In her first year, Rachel filmed 100 scenes and won Hottest Newcomer at Planet Hollywood Prive Club. Rachel shot scenes on 100 different days, and worked with a lot of the same people ~20-30 guys. All companies hire the same talent over and over again.


38:15

What’s the treatment for guys vs. girls in the porn industry?

Gay guys make more money than girls, who make more money than straight guys. Guys are easier to find. Every single day on social media, Rachel gets five messages from guys asking how to get into the business. Girls are a lot harder to find. Back in 2007, it was a treat to find a girl who was willing to do porn. Nowadays every girl wants to be a porn star because they want fame. It’s more glamorous, more mainstream, more accepted.

“The guys in the business. They are treated as you’re getting to fuck hot girls day-in and day-out, do your job. There’s a lot of pressure on guys in the industry and they make less. A lot less.” — Rachel Starr


39:16

Money in porn back then

Back in the day (~10 years ago), internet sites were a thing, but most money in the porn industry was made through DVD sales. There were 5 scenes in each DVD, and the goal was to get on the cover. Between editing and distribution it took about 5 months from shooting until a DVD would get on the market. Not achieving her goals instantly pushed Rachel to work even harder.


42:25

Big changes in the industry

In a matter of a few years, the whole industry changed. In 2008, the recession hit, which resulted in many people canceling porn memberships. Right after the recession, tube sites started popping out. Tube site are usually have partial scenes with options to upgrade. At first, people didn’t know if those sites were pirated and how the government would react. Eventually, they realized the government wasn’t going to put much effort to shut down and litigate tubers like courts did with the music industry.

Nobody wanted to stand up for the porn industry, which resulted in all the money moving to the internet. Now most people watch porn on tube sites and don’t pay for it, but membership holders provide enough income.


43:10

Rachel is dead center bi-sexual

Rachel has been in both straight and lesbian relationships, and has learned she’s neither straight or lesbian. She is dead center, right in the middle, bi-sexual. She’s into animation and lesbian porn, and likes to masturbate to artistic black and white nude photos of women.

With time, Mike has gained a different perspective of gay and straight as more of a fluid thing. He says humans are poor predictors of how they’ll feel in the future, and usually attraction to another person is a feeling.

“Society really sets us up to steer us in the direction the majority finds acceptable.” — Mike Bledsoe


48:00

Porn industry interesting facts

  • Porn has driven many of the high quality online video types and speeds, like HD and 4K.
  • Porn has every membership you could possible think of.
  • Porn is hard to cancel.
  • Porn is a high risk industry for fraud. Payment processing companies aren’t too friendly to porn companies.

51:25

The Rachel Starr — Bringing The Art Back to Pornography

Rachel has been working on her website for a year. It hasn’t launched yet, but it’s going to be artistic and beautifully shot, featuring high-end lingerie and luxurious locations. Some of it is fetishy or seductive.


55:10

Jade eggs and men’s confidence

Mike went to a talk by a woman who empowers women by teaching them about kegel exercises and jade eggs. She was also advising men to love their penises more. She said it’s not so much about the size vs. how the guy uses it, which she doesn’t have to do with technique per se, else the love and pride of his package.

“I’ve never met one guy that’s happy with his package…Confidence is so sexy. It doesn’t matter what size your dick is.” — Rachel Starr


58:30

Dick pics don’t work

Women are not visual and don’t care about dick pics, they are feeling based.

“They say guys latch on to what they see, women latch onto what they hear.” — Rachel Starr


1:00:10

BDSM

Rachel did some BSDM in 2007 — 2008, but she didn’t like it. It was a little much. Rachel is into soft pain from hardcore sex like getting her hair pulled or getting choked. Rachel thinks choking is hot. She is turned on by the power and feeling of safeness of being with a strong alpha male. But it’s a tight line to walk, it’s hard for men to find the right balance of emasculation and making women feel safe.


1:06:10

Choking in sex

Rachel wanted her last boyfriend to choke her during sex, but it took him months to agree, even though he was very masculine. He was raised not to put a hand in a woman, and choking felt wrong to him. After she convinced him to do it, their sex life went miles away. It takes a lot of trust and communication to get to that level in a relationship. Rachel doesn’t want a random guy to choke her, that’s weird and not cool.


1:08:42

#waterboardwednesday

Rachel appreciates the porn industry because it created an environment where she can do whatever she wants. She learned sexual freedom and that she likes alpha, dominant men, while being submissive in personal relationships. On camera she’s alpha though.

“I could never have sex with the guy that I’m in love and talk hardcore shit to him. I want him talking shit to me. I don’t wanna be talking shit to him. I just wanna be like yes please I’m your slave. I’ll do anything like waterboard Wednesday let’s do it.” — Rachel Starr


1:11:30

Shooting porn

The basics

  • Average porn scenes last 30–45 minutes and takes 7–8 hours to shoot. Sometimes it goes even up to 20 hours of shooting!
  • From beginning to end it’s about 3 hours of sex, and the rest pictures, videos, cuts, and other stuff.
  • They use tons of lube in porn — women don’t produce that much lubrication naturally.
  • Pornstars have all kind of secret words and signals to ensure shooting goes smoothly.
  • It’s very expensive to shoot porn. When a guy cums before they should in a scene, that could result in extra high costs for the film. There are location costs, staff, other fees, etc.
  • Even when it’s painful you have to act like you’re enjoying it.

Rachel’s take

  • Rachel only cares about shooting high quality scenes that result in high ratings.
  • Rachel was still figuring out her sexuality and what she could take after 4 years in the business.
  • Rachel’s favorite position is cowgirl because she can make it work how she wants. Certain positions aren’t worth it at all, because they are don’t provide pleasure or are even painful.

Guys in the business

  • Johnny Sins is a favorite for girls in the industry.
  • Guys take supplements to keep it hard, of course. Being around arousing girls isn’t as exciting after you do it over and over again, which means getting hard gets harder 😉
  • Some guys (Jack Venice) do 2–3 scenes a day, and they are very superstitious with their diet, fitness, etc. They make sure to avoid big meals before shooting, because when you eat a big meal, all the blood goes into your gut to deal with digestion. That blood needs to be utilized for porn shooting, which means sacrificing getting hard, and stamina.
  • Male pornstars need to make sure they’re super fit, so they have the physical endurance to hold positions for hours.
  • Most of the time the guy is doing most of the work. Guys need to worry about a host of things: is the girl comfortable, when can I cum, where is the camera, are there shadows in the wrong places, hot light fixtures are shining on them, camera guys all up their personal space, they can’t even see who they’re fucking, and they have to be attuned to directions from the director 😲

1:22:50

People need to discover their sexuality

Rachel has the perfect job because it’s empowering, liberating, artistic, beautiful, fun, and gives her freedom of expression. She loves being a performer, but also fascinated about the business side and wants to help people find their sexuality. Sex on camera is much different than sex at home. A lot of people haven’t tapped into their desires. Sexuality is so taboo in our society; people don’t talk about it. It’s a process to understand what you truly desire and want to get out of sex.

Play parties

A play party is when a group of people (12–20) get together in a circle of trust and explore their sexual fantasies. It’s an open platform where you don’t have to worry about people judging you.


1:28:00

Some people just like normal sex

Rachel think some people just like vanilla sex because they value security and certainty more than anything else in their life. At first people like how their partner is different than them, but eventually they want them to be on the same page. Rachel is influenced by Tony Robbins’ 6 core humans needs: certainty, uncertainty/variety, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution. Usually people are dominant to one of those and subdominant to another.


1:32:35

Porn industry stereotypes

Stereotypes people think about the porn industry are there for a reason. Some people get sucked into porn for the wrong reason, like drugs. Back in the day, there were more suitcase pimps — guys that drive porn stars to porn shoots, wait in the car and carry their suitcases. That’s not common anymore. Stereotypes about broken women in porn were true 10 years ago, but not so much now. Since porn became so popular and more accepted, there are enough people in the industry that make it professional. There’s no need for weak people on set anymore.


1:37:16

Sex education

Porn could negatively affect your sex life

Mike consumed porn in the past, but in the last year he consumed the least amount ever. He learned that if you keep exposing yourself to porn, it could impact your sex life in a negative way. Your expectations become somewhat unrealistic because porn can be some sort of a circus show. Porn is sex education, and watching hardcore things on a regular basis becomes the norm in your mind.

Unique ways to learn about sex

Personal Life Media — a SexEd membership site that made Mike a better lover.

Orgasmic meditation by One Taste — Mike had a breakthrough at One Taste (even though he thought he was good at sex because he was making women cum). He learned it’s not about the orgasm, it’s about connecting and feeling the other person and yourself. Mike’s sex life was satisfying before, but now it’s 10x better after a 6 hour workshop.

“That’s when a sexual experience can become a spiritual experience.“— Mike Bledsoe

Never stop learning

Rachel tries everything sex-related because she wants to know as much information as possible on her industry. She’s hungry to learn more, even after 10 years in the industry, and by now she’s seen so much that anything is possible. She wants to go to Thailand to try an hour long orgasm practice she heard about. She says usually girl orgasms are 2x-3x longer than guys (20–30 seconds vs. 8–12 seconds).


1:46:40

Sex mentoring and coaching

A lots of people reach out to Rachel on social media with all kinds of sex questions. Some are crazy situations, where she advised people to go the E.R. Rachel discovered people feel comfortable telling her things they wouldn’t tell her doctor. That’s when she discovered she wants build a platform where people can reach out to her, so she can give back.

Ringhop

Ringhop is a texting app where people pay per text to ask you whatever questions they want. Rachel likes doing Ringhop over answering questions on Twitter for free. Ringhop is worth her time. Some people just want her to talk dirty, but 80% of people have real questions and are fascinated by her life. Rachel wants to leave porn at her prime like Lisa Ann did. She doesn’t wanna become a GILF! 👵🏼


1:54:45

Talking dirty

Are there any rules? Rachel’s number one piece of advice is to talk about exactly what you see. It’s the easiest thing she can coach you on, just describe what you’re looking at. Compliment your partner’s body, especially sexual parts, it increases confidence and excitement.


1:59:55

Personal coaching

Rachel has numerous life coaches she hired from Tony Robbins program, for all kinds of things, including finances. She now likes the idea of becoming a sex mentor.

“If anyone wants to progress in anything as fast as possible, a coach is the best way.” — Mike Bledsoe


2:01:35

Fitness and strength

Weightlifting

Rachel had to keep a certain body type for porn. Thankfully, she has great genetics and didn’t have to work hard in the past. She used to do a lot of cardio, and it took forever to convince her to do weightlifting. She thought she would bulk up quickly, and it took a while for her to learn it’s not genetically possible unless she went hard with training and supplements. Weightlifting made Rachel feel powerful, and she got addicted to it realizing she likes being strong.

Find a good coach

When Rachel Googled how to squat, she found many different answers, and it was very confusing. She was afraid of getting injured and not being able to work. Mike’s first piece of advice is: find a really good coach. Mike has a great network to help you find a high-quality coach or trainer in any city.

“Most trainers don’t know what they’re talking about.“— Mike Bledsoe

TechniqueWODs by Barbell Shrugged

If you can’t find a great coach in your area, check out Barbell Shrugged. They have tons of videos called TechniqueWODs, which were created because people publish shit form videos on YouTube. TechniqueWODs teach you how to do anything from weightlifting to gymnastics. Doug Larson (Mike’s business partner) teaches most of them; he learned movement from a mechanical engineer.


2:11:25

Women learn weightlifting better than man

Women learn how to lift weights better and faster than guys. One of the reasons is that guys don’t wanna look like idiots at the gym. Guys act like they know what they’re doing, which somehow gets reinforced, and they think they know what they’re doing, which end up creating bad habits. Guys get enough results to think they know what they’re talking about and then don’t shut up about it. They practice bad movement for a long time, which is why it takes more time to deprogram their bad habits and teach new good ones. Women have less background in weightlifting and are more coachable than men.

Mattie Rogers is an example of amazing women weightlifters

2:13:55

Mike’s journey in the fitness world

Mike got into fitness at 13, but only started lifting at 15. His parents thought it would stunt his growth, which today we know is a myth. In high school, when girls came to Mike’s awareness, he stopped focusing on health and strength, and prioritized looking good. Mike started focusing on performance rather than health; he had a perspective of not being good enough.

Only once Mike discovered olympic weightlifting and crossfit, he started his transition back to prioritizing health. He realized he loves his body, and needs to take care of it over performance. Today Mike feels best, thinks he looks best, and his confidence level is up. He’s doing things for the right reasons. Prioritizing health today doesn’t take a lot of willpower, it’s an obvious choice. Mike knows competitions are not healthy for him, and probably not for a lot of people, but they are healthy for some. Mike doesn’t believe in using competition as motivation to train and get healthy:

“It’s a great way to bully yourself, but not love yourself. You can’t be happy from that place. If you’re happy, it’s easy.” — Mike Bledsoe

Mike box squatting 415 lbs 💪🏼

2:23:18

Personal life sex vs. porn sex

When Rachel first got into the porn industry, she was doing all kinds of things like crazy orgies that made her to feel like a big circus show. It’s pure entertainment, but not how she has sex in her personal life. It took her a long time to find what she likes personally. She now knows she likes to be completely sober when she’s having sex; she wants to be very present.

Alcohol and drugs can calm you in some areas, but also diminish feelings and sensations. Rachel tried it all from hallucinogens to stimulants. Now she is much more in tuned with sex and likes to take it REALLY slow, so she can notice the subtlest of sensations: heartbeat, breath, hairs tingling…

In porn she has her on/off switch to shut down emotions. Rachel films 30 scenes a year, and sometimes 15 scenes a month. When she doesn’t work for a while, she notices how different it is to have sex on camera vs. personal life. That deep connection is missing on camera, it’s much more robotic; she’s there to get paid, not have fun.


2:29:20

Open relationships

Rachel got into open relationships through one of her old boyfriends, who was experienced. The guy coached her by telling Rachel she’s gonna experience things that are really uncomfortable. His challenge to her was: when you notice something doesn’t feel good, try to go deeper into this new unknown rather than run away.

Swingers clubs

That guy also took Rachel to the most popular swingers club in Dallas at the time: Iniquity. The way it would go down was that guys would sit back, and girls were running the show. The first time Rachel and her boyfriend went together, she didn’t find anybody she wanted to hook up with. She was just hanging out with her dude and realized they just enjoy the atmosphere and make out without worrying about swinging.

Over time, Rachel and her boyfriend got to know other people at the swingers club. She was getting compliments from other women, and slowly got more and more comfortable, and started swinging. She and her boyfriend built immense trust from the open relationship, which made her reach another level. They were sharing everything and got to be their true selves. Rachel thinks it takes years to get to that level of trust.


Where to listen

Listen on: iTunes, Stitcher,  Libsyn

Note: timestamps are based on iTunes version.


The Bledsoe Show with Mike Bledsoe

I discovered Mike Bledsoe through Barbell Shrugged, a training, fitness, and nutrition podcast that is popular in the Crossfit community. Mike has been hosting Barbell Shrugged for the past 5 years, and recently started his own show, The Bledsoe Show:

“We dive deep into creating a life optimized for the modern world.” — The Bledsoe Show

The Bledsoe show quickly became one of my new favorites because it’s practical and fun to listen to. Mike is a seasoned interviewer and podcaster; he’s smart, super chill, and thinks outside the box. The Bledsoe Show is now one of my best resources to find the next cutting edge thing 🚀

 

Sponsor: Qualia by Neurohacker Collective — 15% OFF code: Bledsoe15


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